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this is our 22nd day in a row doing self portraits. proud of ourselves for not missing any days! 😂💕 it’s been easier than I anticipated. I’m learning so much about my cameras self-portrait capabilities! glad to be doing this before our little love makes it into the world.
unrelated: I don’t understand why people blur out license plate numbers on the internet. aren’t they public information that can be easily seen when you’re driving around. what am I missing?🤔
brunch, friends, family, champagne (including alcohol-removed champagne), & perfect weather.
a modern marriage on a Friday night?
When we are together, even if we’re working, we just want to be near each other. This is a moment during what would’ve/should’ve been dinner time for us. Working & watching. Normally if he works late, it’d be working & working, but I am spent. He passed me whatever yuck he’s been dealing with and I was up all night. I thought he was just sick from exhaustion, but obviously it was a bit more than that since it’s contagious.
Ahe asked me to play the piano for him tonight since I haven’t played in.. gosh. six weeks? Basically I haven’t touched it since we moved so suddenly out of our place. He joked he’d stand over me and swoon and I could take a photo. Obviously we didn’t go that route, but I treasure the moment we did get.
Matthias went to bed before me tonight... and, well, that’s actually rare these days. It used to be that we would cuddle in bed for an hour or two, then I would leave (or pull my laptop into bed) to edit & work until the wee hours of the morning while he slept. I preferred working late, while he has always been the type that wouldn’t even stay up past midnight to study for a test. He said his brain shuts off. He just doesn’t do late nights like that. Last January when we left for our big trip, part of our commitment was to get more in sync in with our sleeping. So we did. And gosh, it has made a huge difference being on each other’s schedule. It’s not always the case that we go to sleep together, but it happens more often than not these days, and I really love it. And you know, I don’t really miss the late nights like I thought I would.
But, like I was saying, tonight he fell asleep before me (not feeling 100%), and we didn’t get our photo before that happened, so I had to get, uh... creative. 😂 Sorry to all my feet-hating friends. I had to make this sooo quick because sleeping husbands don’t love having their feet uncovered, imagine that. We were laughinggg over photos like this earlier tonight, the ones with parents and baby feet specifically... are the babies under the covers?? can they breathe?? I have questions!!😂 If you don’t know what I’m talking about, sorry. But we had a good laugh about it and it was my inspiration for this photo 🤣
Due dates aren’t reliable, I get it. We’re guessing at when a new little person is going to make their way into the world & yeah, it’s a guess. But if we are to count on ours, then we’re eighty-four days away from meeting our firstborn son. It’s weird. I’m twenty-five years old, pregnant — in my third trimester(!), and we’re two weeks away from celebrating four years as husband & wife. When did this all happen? We’re like... all grown up.
a post walk photo. full disclosure, Matthias took off his comfy big red robe for this photo. I didn’t ask him to. but he did.
Matthias & I like to walk together. it’s nice because we can have the most important conversations, or no conversation at all while walking, and things are still being done. movement, togetherness.
it’s also important with pregnancy, so we’ve been diligent these few months to make time for it, even if that means walking after dark. it’s kind of romantic. mostly it’s nice to have a small activity together that is completely technology free. we try to stay phone-free at meals too, but that doesn’t always work out. walking though, there really isn’t a space for it. hand in hand or arm in arm, we’re on each other, intentional to share a pace. it’s an us-activity.
a tired mama. and a tired Matthias working. we literally pulled in the driveway after six hours in the car today and he went straight to this table to finish what he needed to do. I am so proud of him. he constantly proves when you want something, you work for it... even at the end of a long day following a very long week...😭🖤 we celebrated nana’s life with a service by her graveside this afternoon and it was perfect.
meals are sacred in our family. we share them as often as we can back home, piling as many of us as possible around tables inevitably too small. we just want to be near each other. we want to delight in each other’s presence.
Read morewe walked this afternoon in the warm spotty sunlight that comes through the trees here on the Frost property. that’s all I can say for today, really. I didn’t really leave the house or do... well, anything. (and doing things *is* my thing. I like to get up & go.) but not today. I’m tired in my bones
Read moreI wasn’t prepared for this. we were going to drink coffee & talk. death. that wasn’t going to be a part of this trip. I... I don’t know what to say.
Read moreI wish he never had to leave. for years I would throw my arms around his neck every morning, “no, don’t go” in dramatic fashion with exaggerated sadness expressed in my brows. he’d agree, saying yes, this would be the day he would finally give up all responsibility and stay in bed with me forever. but inevitably, he’d be out to door each morning to do what he must.
Read moreI love the first of the month. it’s hopeful. a fresh start. a new month to do the things I’ve promised myself I want to do. and October is such a wonderful month of the year, packed full of some of my favorite childhood memories. ☺️ it feels weird/perfect that this will be my last ever October without a little person of my very own here on earth.
today we took two very different photos.
we took the first at my parents in our normal jiffy. I said it was great, but after sitting on it for a bit, I realized I wasn’t happy. not because of the set up, I mean, we look like a content pregnant couple in the suburbs, it’s almost comical how traditional it is. but it didn’t feel like it represented my heavy heart today. so we tried again this evening. I’m much more pleased with the result.
the second portrait we took is quiet and dark. no, it’s not a perfect or cheerful beginning to our October, but it feels as right as Matthias dancing with me in the park today.
it’s okay to have hard days.
I could talk forever about being seen, REALLY seen, and how that’s changed my whole life. but, another time. for now: I think any marriage can work. complete opposites or lovers cut from the same cloth.
anyone can choose to be intentional, and deep, strong friendship bonds can be formed because of it. 🖤
six months of carrying life. it feels like we’re both days and a lifetime away from meeting him. mostly it feels like it’s right here, happening now. what was life before him? can we ask that yet? does he need to be born before we talk about not knowing what it was to exist in a world without him? I love our firstborn so much. he takes up space in so many of our conversations already.
tonight we walked through woods on the property out to the pasture for these. it was worth it, even having to dodge the multitudes of spider webs and getting on hands and knees to get through barbed wire fence. we didn’t go out at the ideal time, and it was more of an adventure than a 120-second “let’s get our portrait today”, but some days these will be that, and that’s ok. aiming for achievable, that’s all. and for this Saturday night, walking the land was achievable, thoughtful, quiet, & fun. my heart is happy & full.
TODAY another Bonin sister, our darling Annalise, said YES to marrying her best friend!!! YESSSSSS!!!! I met up with Kate before 6pm to shoot the proposal... which ended up happening at 7pm... we were eaten aliveeee by mosquitos while waiting, but WORTH IT.
That’s 4/4 Bonin proposals for me to shoot so far. I’d like to shoot all of them... there are only 6 siblings left to get married. That’s not an unreasonable goal, right?
We had an unbelievably fun party to celebrate at the parents house after the proposal and there is evidence of that all over Instagram. (seriously. follow @terri.bonin @mrsjoybonin @sydniebonin @alexisnhouston @moremadeleinefrost)
This week and today have exhausted us. Matthias & I are boneee tired. He’s already asleep next to me as I write this. After the engagement party we were ready to just crawl in our own bed, but we didn’t want to miss our photo for the day, so we decided to get it at my parents before heading home. I went to meet him in the backyard since we decided to do a porch photo and Matthias had it (mostly) ready to go & told me exactly where we were shooting & how we were shooting it. Ummm. Who is this person? Did a bodysnatcher get Matthias? What a kind man.
This evening we met in the middle on Matthias’ way home from work in Houston, & on my way downtown meet a couple. We ended up at JINYA ramen bar. We’ve been to 20 countries together, but have never shared a meal of ramen until this year?! We were missing out big time. 🤦🏻♀️
After dinner we had a few minutes to spare before parting ways (while I did my best to ignore the cold stone creamery... pregnancy has unexpectedly given me a sweet tooth), so we set up one more shot. Our dinner picture back-focused anyway, so a second try seemed reasonable.
The outdoor ones were accomplished with an interval timer. 1 shot per second for 20 seconds. That gave me enough time to start the camera, walk to him, get tickled, have my foot eaten up by an ant, and be done. I haven’t figured out burst shooting with the remote yet, but the interval timer worked for tonight. Shooting self portraits is showing me there’s a lot I can still learn about my camera.
Matthias’ fave photo is the ant one. “So real”😂
This is the path we like to walk around his parents property together. So many conversations that have shaped us as a couple have happened out here. I actually wanted to snap a walking picture, but my auto-focus was losing its mind on me tonight (I just need to figure out this remote shooting a little better.) Because these are intended to be quick photos, I didn’t want to try to fix it while Matthias was with me. Light is also disappearing faster these days and we didn’t want to miss our opportunity to get it during or after family dinner... so, a standing portrait with manual focus it is.
For the past year we’ve had family dinners twice a week: Wednesday at his parents, Thursday at mine. All the siblings show up and bring their people. Both sides continue to grow as we add in new spouses & significant others & grandchildren and it makes getting together often quite the ordeal, but we are very laid back. It’s always self-serve easy food, easy drinks, and we just enjoy chit chatting. Tonight, I am grateful.
PS. If you can, read Bread & Wine soon. It’s about family, the table, traditions, the mundane and the spectacular. I promise you’ll enjoy it.
I met Matthias in Hughes Landing before his dinner tonight. I didn’t want to be a nuisance lugging my (actually very small) tripod up to the eleventh floor. I thought I would be too distracting, but it turns out, trying to shoot a self portrait without one is way more complicated and conspicuous. Lesson learned: when we do this in public, just take the tripod.
He said tonight he feels like he used to in the locker room before basketball games. Butterflies in his stomach. Hopeful. Ready to kill it. Life circumstances have been hard... like, really, really hard recently. But seeing him happy... seeing him excited... it fills my love tank alllllll the way up.
In our hotel room. Matthias on the phone with work, pursuing his dream. We’ve been staying in hotels a lot recently. Not out of town, just about 20 minutes from where we’re currently staying at Matthias’ parents. Hotels are peaceful, aren’t they? Especially when we’re together.
Not that it isn’t quiet or peaceful at his parents. In fact, it’s really wonderful on their property. We have space and privacy. But it doesn’t mean we don’t miss the solitude of our own place. A place where you can walk around mostly naked, you know? We have been home displaced since the dog attack... tomorrow marks four weeks exactly since that happened. It has been a short four weeks made up of many long, longgg days. This last week was the first time we’ve talked about or looked at where we want to go next. We walked beautiful apartments in The Woodlands and talked about what our next season of life will be like. A new place and a new baby. Today, I am hopeful.
