Ten Years Too Late

I often like to write in my journal what I dream about my life looking like.

regularly the dreams include things like being a better reader, taking a cooking class with Matthias, spending earlier mornings alone when the air is crisp & there still isn’t light, learning languages, and other things big & small that I find romantic. more cups of coffee, more live music, messy art spaces that are actually occupied often with my busy hands. it’s an exercise that sets me on course, prepares me for the work that lies between where we are and where we want to go. dreaming has always made me a better person. 

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honestly, looking back over years of journaling, my dreams really haven’t changed all that much. 

except recently, when I wrote down how I pictured my life & things it included entering motherhood, I think I surprised myself when I included a blog on the list.

maybe that shouldn’t have surprised me so much? I mean, I used to want one. In fact, I was shaped into the person I am, and hell, even began my career as a photographer because of how heavily influenced I was by blogs as a teenager. but now? I’m going to start a blog now? I don’t even read them. nobody does. blogs aren’t a “thing” anymore.

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but that isn’t the point. that isn’t my why. the dream bubbled up and put itself on paper before I even consciously had a say. 

I want to do this because I want to have a space to call my own. I want to have a memory journal online that I have more control over than just a facebook timeline or instagram feed. I mean, those are going extinct like blogs sort of have anyway. at least with my own space, I know I can always return to it and export my content when I please. 

so here I am. this won’t be a wordy space. at least, not any more wordy than my social media is. (okay... yeah, I can be wordy in my stories sometimes.) but I plan to put pieces of my heart here in words & photographs. 

I’m so honored & happy to be entering this season of motherhood & so ready to document it. I know if my mama had a blog when she was in her 20s figuring out motherhood & life with me, I’d be all over that 🖤 

I hope this journal blesses our children in future years. and in the meantime, I hope some person somewhere, the dreamer, or the mama, or the teenager, or the distant friend, or whoever is meant to be here, can come to this place and feel at home with my words & photographs. if I have one person leave this space changed, shaped like I was by the hearts I was exposed to by blogs ten years ago, all of this will be worth it a hundred times over.