Nursery

Eliot is wigglyyyy in church, so we decided to try the nursery today again. He’s so happy when I’m in there with him, but I wanted to enjoy church with Matthias so I left him. Ugh. My heart! I pleaded with the ladies working — “text me if he’s upset.” I can’t imagine him being in there sobbing missing me while I’m unaware. 🥺

it stresses me out to the point I can’t pay attention. Maybe it’s a first child thing. Maybe it’ll never go away. He lasted about 15 minutes before I got a text “Eliot needs Mommy” and he came back to sit with us.

He’s talking over the pastor with all his little baby noises and loves eating puffs or a pouch or having a bottle during the sermon, but other than those distractions, I feel like he’s a really content baby and does well in a large, quiet room. I’m happy to sit with my baby. I’m grateful to be in church with my little family.

Bailey is (so) due

Any minute now, little Peyton. Come on now. (41w 1d) 

how can I help?

September 24th, 2020. Matthias asked me recently, “how can I help you?” 

“Help me? What do you mean?”

“With your Young Living business.”

🥺💙 I melted into the floor. When he takes over with Eliot, when he helps around the house... that’s how he helps. And he already does it so well - and I told him that. 

I feel like Matthias could be frustrated with me for how stacked my schedule is right now, but he’s been nothing but gracious. That’s the character quality I noticed first about him. Graciousness. He is the definition of it. 

I had a break at 5 and he encouraged me to take a nap while Eliot was down. And while I was, he made our home beautiful. 🥺

I needed an evening (and people) break so even though I was reluctant to miss the very first night back to grow groups with our church community, Eliot & I stayed home to do nothing together and it was exactly what we needed. 

crying just a little

Lunch with a friend in the midst of busyness and business. Eliot loves her too, obviously. And we went to the granary, because of course we did. It’s healthy snack heaven. I told Matthias tonight before leaving him in bed for more work 9pm-12am that I just needed to cry. Not because I’m upset or run down, in fact, even in the temporary chaos I feel joy. But I’m feeling *allI* the feelings & I know I’d feel better if it came out a bit. I shed some tears, but I know more will come. If you see me anytime in the next 6 weeks and I’m crying, just excuse me. Also, come to the fall festival Oct 24th. K, thanks. 💕

one year of photos

Today is ONE YEAR of daily photos. I remember how proud I was when we hit 30 days in a row. 🥺💕

It feels so good to promise something to myself and follow through. That’s what this year has been. Setting goals and seeing them through. (Glory to God.)

For someone who used to set a lot of goals and *not* see them through, I have to say this makes me respect and trust myself in new, important ways. And that feels (really) good. 

If you’ve been thinking of documenting your life more, DO IT. You’ll never regret it.

Here are some things I’ve noted after doing these for 365 days straight. 

• it’s damn hard to daily photos 🤣

• you’ll never like how you look in them, just take them and save them anyway

• it’s not “taking” from your life or presentness to spend a minute documenting your day

• not every photo will be frame worthy. take them anyway 

• what may seem mundane now will be worth remembering anyway later. life is made up of lots of little seemingly insignificant moments. care about them enough to remember them. 

• it doesn’t matter what camera you take your photos on 

• have one place you’re saving the photos. an album, google drive, blog, flickr, anything

2020 is brighter

How different this September looks. This time last year was heavy and hard. This month is so much brighter than 2019 and I am grateful. Also, I spent so much time in my husbands camping chair/rocker on this porch he surprised me and bought me my own. AHH😍 I feel like we’ve officially arrived as like an old married couple on our back porch together hahaha

our rain

First time I’ve walked our land in the rain. it’s so beautiful. I still can’t believe it’s ours.

I meant to do a full entry, but instead my journal says: Eliot started standing today. We had lunch at the frosts. Honey garlic salmon for dinner. worked in the nursery. oily party at moms and I left my camera.

September 19th

Texas youth summit and size of 12 week old fetus.

Friyay

So much to say about this day, but photos will have to do the job.

six weeks

I’ve committed six weeks to weekly one on one FaceTimes with women in my Young Living team and oh. my. gosh. the time I’m getting with each is filling up my heart so much. 🥺❤️ I’m loving this time and it’s stretching me. We looked around tonight and realized we had no dinner, but I realized we had the simple ingredients needed for chicken pot pie. Why didn’t I know the filling was easy easy to make? Where has this been all my life? Eliot’s personality makes me so happy. And his little teeth. Ugh. I could eat him. He gives me baby fever. I’m glad I’m pregnant 😂

always in the doona

99% of the time, I forget to take a group photo before Eliot is in his car seat. Oh well. Making it work. 😂 dinner with these dear friends. Bailey is due Friday! Ahh! I’m so honored to be able to attend her upcoming birth. Already crying about how much I love this woman and her little lovely daughter. Birth is so magic, spiritual, terrible, transformative, tender.

zzz

I am overbooked this week, but I’m too far in at this point to try to change course. Matthias is the most incredible husband, friend, and partner in parenthood and that shines even brighter when I’m running thin. The way he plays with Eliot makes my heart swell. I wanted to try to rest for a bit during dinner time and right as I sat down, Eliot woke up. Matthias didn’t even bring him into the bedroom. He shut the master door and let me catch a few zzz’s. It seems so small, but it feels so huge. He anticipates my needs and is present in our home. I won’t take it for granted.

The price of greatness

spent today between phone calls & FaceTimes and being mama to my precious firstborn. we’ve been taking our evening walks together and today we stopped just for a little bit to enjoy the sunset. “responsibility is the price of greatness” whoa. Jim Rohn is kicking my butt over here. (I am listening to The Ultimate Jim Rohn Library right now. it appears that the quote is Winston Churchill’s and is actually “the price of greatness is responsibility.”)

renewed

this weekend was an intentional time for rest & resetting. I feel inspired, renewed. ready for this fresh week & upcoming season.

Saturdaze

The idyllic Saturday. Snuggles & sleeping in, coffee on the porch and signed the contract to move forward on our home! What! Baby steps! Or is it big giant steps? 

We went to the splash pad for a sweet afternoon away as a family of three and, honestly, it’s the first little Saturday family date I really remember. Or maybe I mean... date for Eliot’s sake & fun, rather than him tagging along on one of *our* date. 

Our photo today was supposed to be at the splash pad... I brought my camera and tripod, but no memory card 😅  so our photo is in bed, watching Tony Robbins “I’m not your guru”. Matthias’ response is awkward laughing and some cringing and I totally love it... and also cringe a bit. 

Reset

Left Eliot with Bonins today and took a couple hours to drink sparkling pear tea followed by a honey limeade on a shaded porch in Market Street while I journaled. This weather makes me want to put pen on paper and dream big. I also Started History in English words again (haven't picked it up since 2014!) and it's so interesting. 😍

Thank you, God, for beautiful Friday afternoons, for family who love eliot & give me time away to reset, for family dinners on Friday nights, for jasmine & her skill in making our house sparkling clean and a pleasure to come home to. For so many things, I am grateful.

September 8th, 2020

Feeling quiet.

Mary is married!

Eliot is 8 months old today, but we’ll have to get our hallway photo tomorrow because we’re out at the Frost property celebrating a new marriage 🥰🎉

rehearsal dinner

Mary & J. Michael get married tomorrow. It’s been pouring rain here… hoping that their outdoor wedding on the Frost parents property isn’t a muddy mess.
During the storms today, lighting struck one of our elms. One of the few massive trees on our two acres… (we still haven’t named our land, but I want to…) I actually felt so sad when I found out and saw it. It’s like a little piece of our magic was struck by lightning. :( trees are magic, aren’t they? I look forward to having more of the little ones cleared out so we can enjoy our land and our larger, older trees. I already know which one is my favorite… the one I’ll want to have picnic lunches under when we live out here. It’s a mighty oak & it probably has really good stories to tell about its years here on this land.

a thursday

Went and looked at some GBG windows today.... still not our choice. Had lunch with Bailey & talked about her birth plan. Looked at front & back doors. Picked up breastmilk for Eliot. Napped because I’m either especially exhausted this week or possibly fighting something off. It’s wedding weekend though! Got to be well! new member zoom at 9pm.